


Emotion- Expression- Reaction

by FrisianPaddy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: Emotions, Hate, Lust, Sadness, couriosity, envy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9182497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrisianPaddy/pseuds/FrisianPaddy
Summary: Old stories I wrote for DeviantART. The only leftovers of my old account... Every short story has a certain emotion as their topic.





	1. Anakin insteat of Obi-Wan- Envy

**Author's Note:**

> Old stories I wrote for DeviantART. The only leftovers of my old account... Every short story has a certain emotion as their topic.

As Qui-Gon Jinn told the Jedi Council that he would train the young Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wans whole world broke down. The master already had an apprentice, him! Obi-Wan Kenobi! Even if the boy knew how to hide his true emotions, he really felt a tearing pain in his heart. Didn´t his master cared about him any more? Was the boy so much more important? Some other master could train Anakin instead, but no, Qui-Gon had to do that. The tree males left the Council and the apprentice moved strictly forward to his quarters. Maybe meditation will help him to cool down. The door closed silently behind him and with anger in him chest he sat down and closed his eyes.  
Let the anger flow through you, he repeated in his head. Anger leads you to the dark side. But he could not get lost of the bad feeling. Why did his master want to leave him alone? Did he do something wrong? Did he not followed every order Qui-Gon gave him?  
Sighting, Obi-Wan lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Maybe he had to wait until his master comes back so they could talk, but after an hour, the tall Jedi still hadn´t arrived jet. Was he already practising with Anakin? Only the thought let goose-flesh appear. He should look for him. As he opened his eyes to stand up, the door to their room opened and Qui-Gon stept in. He seemed surprised to see Obi-Wan.  
“Where is your padawan?” Obi-Wan asked in a sarcastic stress. The tall Jedi stared at him totally surprised. “He is sitting on his bed like I see.” Slowly, the Jedi sat down on his own bed and looked at the boy. Obi-Wan couldn´t look in his masters eyes without feeling anger and he did not want to give his master an other reason to leave him, so Obi-Wan just turned his back to Qui-Gon. He hated to have this shield between him and the master, but in that moment it was better like that.  
“Is something wrong, Obi-Wan?” That question raged the apprentice even more. “How dare you even ask me that?!” Obi-Wan growled. “How I... What do you mean?”  
“What I mean? My master just kicked me out to train an other boy, after everything we´ve been through! How could something be wrong?” He banged his fist on the wall and jumped off his bed. He just can´t stand that any more! Full of rage he looked at Qui-Gon.  
“What?” The confused Jedi stood up and walked to his apprentice, but the boy kept their distance.  
“You heard me! You don´t understand how it hurts me to see that our relationship means nothing to you! After all the shit we´ve been through! The laboratory where you kept as subject and I saved you! On Kegan as you saved me! The mine where Xanatos tried to kill us! I was the one that never gave you up after Tahl died!” It was obvious that the name Tahl hurt Qui-Gon, but it had to be.  
“It is not that I don´t care about you any more, Obi-Wan, but Anakins training has priority so...”  
“Priority? Priority?! So I´m worthless?! Nice to know! Thanks a lot, master” Obi-Wan shouted angrily, clawed in his tunics with all his rage in his face. His inside burned like fire, the envy, hate and rage made him feel sick. That was not himself. It is, this is you. The real you. Obi-Wan felt his masters frustration. “That was not what I mend. You´re not worthless, Obi-Wan. But Anakin is the chosen one and he need to be trained before he is too old.”  
That was how he mend it, the master just don´t want you to know! The dark side in him tried to reach him. “I should have killed the boy as I had the chance! Now he takes you away from me!”  
Qui-Gon was the most important person in his life except Bant and Anakin wanted to take the master away from him! Obi-Wan would not let that happen! What the boy said shocked Qui-Gon the most. “How can you say something like that? That is not what a Jedi would say, padawan.” He still called him that... Why did he still call him that! He wasn´t his padawan any more! It was Anakin, this little tatooin bastard! Obi-Wans hand slit to is lightsabur. If I go and kill this boy, everything could be the same again. He wouldn´t be there any more. Nobody would take Qui-Gon away from me! Qui-Gon seemed to heard his thoughts and took his own sabur. Quiet the master watched the boy, ready to act when Obi-Wan moves.  
“Don´t think that way, Obi-Wan, I beg of you. You know it started with Xanatos that way.” Xanatos was his first padawan and turned to the dark side, tried to kill his former master after all this years. But Xanatos is dead, like Qui-Gon always wished. The master would never say that aloud, but Obi-Wan knows it. Does he want me dead to? Obi-Wan sudden wondered. “I´m in your way” the boy said slowly. Qui-Gons face became pale. “You want me dead just like Xanatos!” With that the padawan jumped onto Qui-Gon, his activated lightsabur in his hand and tried to punch his master with his full power, but the man knew how to defend himself.  
“Obi-Wan, stop that! I don´t want to fight you!” Never in his life, Obi-Wan had heard so much sadness and frustration in his masters voice. Did he say the truth? It his former apprentice still important for him?  
“LIAR!” Obi-Wans foot hit his masters stomach, Qui-Gon had to make a step back. The buzzing sabur shot down, the blue and the green blade met and flashing light reflected in their eyes.  
“I mean nothing to you! You have shown me that as you took Anakin as your padawan!” Their blades collided that roughly that the shaking vibrations drifted up Obi-Wans arms. With his full power the boy bead his master, sweat ran down his face and dropped on the cold floor. The muscles in his arms shivered. Wheezing, Obi-Wan growled while standing in front of Qui-Gon, the lightsaburs pressed against each others:  
“ You are just like your master Count Dooku! You just want to have the best results after the training and who would be better than the chosen boy named Anakin Skywalker? Like master, like student!” Growling, Obi-Wan tripped the tall jedis leg, the man fell over with his back on the wall. The small room, which was called their quarter, was just not big enough to fight and both knew that the man standing would win the fight easily. The smiling apprentice looked down on Qui-Gon.  
“Do you regret, my former master?” he whispered. “Do you regret setting me off?”  
The jedi master tried to look into his eyes but what he saw made him look away again. The hate in Obi-Wans eyes let his heart his heart stop for a moment.  
“Please, padawan. Believe me. You are still important for me and I´d never forget what you´ve done for me...” “But you keep Anakin as your padawan?” Silence. “You are my padawan, Obi-Wan, and nothing will ever change that.” The answer was clear.  
“You still keep Anakin” the young man made clear. Okay, like the master wished. The green lightsabur deactivated and slit down into the handle. “You will never see me again. That´s it.” With that the padawan turned around and went to the door. The master chose the boy instead of him? Well, that's it. Obi-Wan felt the view of the man in his neck, but he didn´t care. He had to close that chapter of his life. He´d never get Qui-Gon back. It was over. “Now I understand how Xanatos felt” was what the former padawan said before leaving.

Qui-Gon didn´t know how to act. That was not his padawan. Obi-Wan would have never act liked that, his apprentice would have understood why Anakins training had priority. Heavily breathing, the master stood up slowly after the young man left. What did he say? He understood Xanatos. Something known grew in his chest. It was the same fear after he lost his first padawan to the dark side. Did he lose Obi-Wan as well? Was he lost because of him?  
`No, not Obi-Wan. He is stronger than Xanatos´ Qui-Gon thought. But what was that other feeling? Unfortunately he knew that feeling just too well. It was uncertainty. Suddenly Qui-Gon began to run. Out of the room, through the corridors, right after his apprentice. The boy walked just up onto the temple. On the roof, he stood and watched the sky. Anger, sadness, envy flew around him, seemed like a dark shadow inside of him. The bond they shared was broken and no feelings came through to him. “Obi-Wan, listen to me. For everything in the universe, listen to me” Qui-Gon begged to his friend. “It is not that I don´t want to teach you, but there is nothing I can teach you any more. You know everything you need to pass the tests of the council!” When Qui-Gon loses another apprentice to the dark side, he´d never forgive himself. Everybody, but not Obi-Wan. Like in slow-motion the apprentice turned around. “ Liar. I know nothing about being a good jedi.” The inexpressive face shown nothing. No feelings, no hints of his thoughts. Just... emptiness.  
“Kill me now when I lie” Qui-Gon whispered and lowed his head. His lightsabur fell out of his hand, the master sank down on his knees. Slow steps came closer. “So, you want me to kill you? Fine. As you wish, my former master.” The known humming sound appeared. “ I gave you the chance to teach me until the end. But you wanted something else. Someone else.”  
Qui-Gon heard the humming coming closer and ...


	2. Down with the sickness- Fear

Never in his life Qui-Gon felt more fear than in right this moment. He was sitting next to Obi-Wans bed in the medical station. A sickness has fallen over him, it was the third day now that he slept. Sweat ran down the apprentices forehead, his face was full of pain and fear. A jedi took the death without fear, but dying such a senseless death did not have to happen, specially not for such a young boy. Master Qui-Gon held the hand of his apprentice while closing his eyes.  
`You need to calm down. The medical center in the temple is one of the best in the universe. Obi-Wan could not be in better hands´ he told himself, but every time the boy twitched Qui-Gon feared a little more about him. What would be if Obi-Wan would not survive this sickness? What when he died? The master could never accept that, could never be happy in life again. Everything he loved in life left him. First Xanatos, yes he loved the boy just like he loves Obi-Wan, than Tahl and than him? That wasn´t reality. That could not be reality.  
“Qui-Gon?” Surprised the tall jedi opened his eyes. It was master Yoda. The tiny green creature just came through the door and stood next to his chair. “Fear I sense in you” Yoda said and watched the tall master. Yes. Very much. “Yes, master. I keep the fear of losing him” Qui-Gon admitted and lowed his view to the green master. It really hurt a lot seeing his padawan that weak and so open to attack although he was such a strong person.  
“Fearing you should not” Yoda said. “Give him support you have to. When the master is weak, the student support can not find.” Master Yoda and his phrases. Sometimes that gnome can get on his nerves, but most of the time the master knew what he says. For Qui-Gons luck, the green Jedi left and with trembling hands, he covered his eyes. It was on a try right now. The Master pulled his legs up on the chair and closed his tired eyes. How long has he been sitting next to his apprentice? Five days? Maybe six? Force, he lost his sense of time. That was bad. Really bad. Meditating may help to find back his calmness. He had to calm down, because if he does not find his center, Obi-Wan's condition may get worse. With initial difficulties, the masters emotions flow out of him and took the rest back to his rightful place in his head, the rest he had lost a few days ago.  
Obi-Wan was strong. He would make it and then we'd go back on missions together. But soon an uninhabited sound attracted his suspicions. A throaty gasp. Almost like a whimper. Shocked Qui-Gon opened his eyes. Obi-Wan was trembling extremely, the teeth pressed together, his hand searching for something that shows him that he´s not alone. When had he left his hand? Rapidly, the master took the hand of the apprentice, shown him that Qui-Gon was there.  
“M-Master...” The boy was whispering while sleeping, but unaudiable for the man. He leaned forward. “Obi-Wan? Do you hear me?”  
“Fire...” The voice became even more silent, Qui had to concentrate on the quiet whisper. “I´m on fire... I am burning...” With a loud moan Obi-Wan turned around in bed, the moan grew up to a scream, pain and fearful. Qui-Gons heart broke as he heard that noise, the chair fell upside down as he jumped up. The machines began to alert, doctors and nurses entering the room, pushing the master away. He was useless, not able to help him. “Master Jinn, leave! We need more space!” Within seconds the tall man stood outside the room. The door closed, the alerts kept going. Motionless he stared at the door. Then the alerts died. The last thing Qui-Gon remembered the sad face of the nurse coming up to him...


	3. Unexpected- Lust

Finally the mission was completed, but something remains. Qui-Gon Jinn had to talk to his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. They had their problems after all, but even with his weakness of not being able to hold the contact to the boy he know that they had to talk. Actually Obi-Wan cant be called a boy with his 20 years. It happened. What Qui-Gon feared the most had happened. Obi-Wan grew up and became an independent young man, who does not need his masters help any more. After they finished their work on Nar Shaddaa, they were on their way home to the temple on Coruscant, they had at least two hours without anything to do. Both men stayed in their quarters without saying anything. Qui-Gon had no idea how to start. After the death of his true love Tahl, the master felt this endless emptiness which nearly destroyed him but his apprentice saved him from going insane. Qui-Gon thought he´d never feel happy nor loved again but he was wrong. He felt love again unfortunately for the wrong person. The master lifted his view. Obi-Wan was starring at him, their bond told Jinn that his padawan worried about him.   
“I need to talk to you” the master said and bit his lip. How could he tell him?  
“You already mentioned something like that” his padawan answered lightly smiling. “You seem to be nervous, master. Is something wrong? Did I... do something?” Normally Qui-Gon was fully by his mind, yet he didn´t know what to do or say. His heart was beating faster, the man lowed his view again. The fear of losing Obi-Wan fed something else, a forbidden feeling for the Jedi. Love grew every day a bit more in Qui-Gons chest, every time he saw the boy. One time, as they lay in bed one day, about one year ago, the jedi master had problems with keeping his hands where they belong. The planet was called Drongar, the temperatures had been too high to keep the cloth on. Just on underwear, they lay in the bed sheets, Obi-Wan sweating and moaning of the heat next to him. The whole night he made that noises and moved all night. In that one night, Qui-Gon made the biggest mistake of his life: He touched his apprentice. Softly he caressed Obi-Wans face, his neck, his chest. He hated himself in that moment, but his body was stronger than his mind. Without the boy noticing, Qui-Gon stroked the frond of his tight shorts. It was disgusting, he stroked himself with one hand while the other caressed the boy. As willing as the strong body was, his mind had forbidden him to take off the rest of Obi-Wans cloth. The ecstasy was unbelievable, too good to be right but he had no other choice any more. The more Qui-Gon caressed his apprentice the more he moaned. The climax was light, but not less intoxicating. His hot come on his hand, Qui-Gon leaned over Obi-Wan, whose mouth was lightly opened. Qui-Gon kissed his padawan softly on his lips, his lips throbbing and his heart pounding. He wanted the boy so much, he wanted to take him, kiss him deep and passionately, but ...  
“Master?” The voice brought him back to the present. Obi-Wan was kneeling before him, his hand rested on his masters leg. “Are you all right? You moaned and squinted.” Swallowing, Qui-Gon stood up quickly, the surprised Obi-Wan fell over on his butt. “Master?” The tall Jedi helped his apprentice to stand up, but he didn´t let off of him. With a firm but not rude grip, he held Obi-Wans arm and looked in his eyes. “Master...” A silence appeared between them until...  
“I love you.”  
The three words amazed the master because it wasn´t him who said them. Obi-Wan bit his lip and waited for a reaction of the tall man. He loves him? They loved... each other?  
“I love you too, Obi-Wan” Qui-Gon finally whispered and leaned forward. Obi-Wans soft hand touched his masters cheek, fixed his eyes on the tall jedis` lips. A wave of love and passion flue through his body, warming him from his head to his toe. “Kiss me, please” Obi-Wan breathed silently. “There´s nothing I´d rather do.” Their lips met gently but no less passionate. “If you want, Qui-Gon, I will be yours forever.” Mine forever... “Be mine and I´ll be yours.” Holding each other close, they kissed passionately. Nothing could stop them. Nothing nor nobody.


End file.
